Thursday, August 12, 2010

Woody Allen, my hero

I recently discovered this gem of a book called Side Effects. This collection of essays by Woody Allen are bound to make you literally lol. He may be the smartest man in the world.

excerpt from "The UFO Menace":

"The most frequently asked question about the UFOs is: If saucers come from outer space, why have their pilots not attempted to make contact with us, instead of hovering mysteriously over deserted areas? My own theory is that for creatures from another solar system "hovering" may be a socially acceptable mode of relating. It may, indeed, be pleasurable. I myself once hovered over an eighteen-year-old actress for six months and had the best time of my life. It should also be recalled that when we talk of 'life' on other planets we are frequently referring to amino acids, which are never very gregarious, even at parties.
Most people tend to think of UFOs as a modern problem, but could they be a phenomenon that man has been aware of for centuries? (To us a century seems quite long, particularly if you are holding an I.O.U., but by astronomical standards it is over in a second. For that reason, it is always best to carry a toothbrush and be ready to leave on a moment's notice.) Scholars now tell us that the sighting of unidentified flying objects dates as far back as Biblical times. For instance, there is a passage in the Book of Leviticus that reads, 'And a great silver ball appeared over the Assyrian Armies, and in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, till the Prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.'"

Monday, August 2, 2010

It's been a while...

My apologies. I just got a message from Laurel asking me to continue blogging. Ironically, I was just given the computer where this all started last December. My parents came to Chicago to help me move and gave me on of their computers because, as most of you know, my beautiful PowerBook G4 has a giant crack through the center of the screen. New apartment, new computer, time to start blogging again.

Going back to previous posts, I never actually watched "Lost". Well, I saw the season premiere. I've never been great at remembering when shows are on, and since I don't have any blank VHS tapes left, I miss all my favorite shows (that's actually a good idea, screw DVR). I'm still not eating meat, only fish occasionally. It's going well; I still feel good. Yesterday, I moved into my new apartment in Ukrainian Village. It's gorgeous. I'm excited to live in this neighborhood. I had to escape Wrigleyville before I was beat up by drunk dudes or driven to suicide by the traffic.

I bought an old enlarger and dark room accessories (chemicals and such) at a yard sale yesterday. $15. Steal. Now I have to find a room with no windows and maybe a sink so I can set it up. Anyone have a dingy bathroom they don't really use?